


So I Had An Idea For A Fic

by Remadra



Category: HLVRAI - Fandom, Half Life VR But The AI Is Self Aware
Genre: Characters Writing Fanfiction, M/M, Nonbinary Benrey (Half-Life), Nonbinary Character
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-04
Updated: 2020-06-04
Packaged: 2021-03-03 23:42:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,758
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24534025
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Remadra/pseuds/Remadra
Summary: Benrey tells Gordon about the fanfiction they're writing.
Relationships: Benrey/Gordon Freeman
Comments: 23
Kudos: 241





	So I Had An Idea For A Fic

**Author's Note:**

> After the events of HLVRAI, Gordon returned to his apartment and Benrey decided to follow.

It had been a few months. Gordon saw a company mandated therapist every two weeks. He hung out with his new friends a lot, almost got a dog, decided that having Sunkist over every other day was enough dog in his life, and tried paying attention to the little things people said or did. It made Coomer’s day when he remembered the doctor mentioned a wardrobe change and brought him the most cliché, eye searing Hawaiian shirt he could find. The practice in focus helped in dealing with his roommate. 

He also had a roommate now. 

"Hey, Gordon."

He felt a mass of warmth fall across his thighs, making him set aside the book he had been reading. The key word was had. It was hard to ignore a person in one's lap, no matter how stubborn Gordon was. He resigned himself to being their target for backhanded insults, preparing for the worst. The head on his legs didn't disappear in the few seconds he blinked down at it.

"Hey, Benrey. How's it going?"

"I had an idea for a fic."

It took a solid twenty seconds for Gordon's brain to catch up after hearing those words come from Benrey's mouth.

"A… fic?" Gordon hesitated, unsure if he really wanted to know. He decided to bite the bullet and clarify.

"Are you talking about writing fanfiction?"

"Yeah," Benrey nodded, squirming to get Gordon's knee out of their shoulder. "Slow burn, probably more than a hundred K. Like five hundred at least."

It was a strange feeling, the vibrations of Benrey's voice in his legs as they shifted. Not completely unwelcome, just… different. From what Gordon was used to hearing from the guard.

"Okay, lay it on me."

Benrey's hands came up, moving as they spoke. "So it starts with me, a scientist, right? 'Cept I'm late to work and it's a big day at the lab."

This sounded awfully familiar. Was Benrey talking about, what was it called, a self insert of some kind?

"My coworker, a guy named Bubby, talks to me while I'm getting my gear, and I say thanks and go 'cause we're gonna meet up in the lab. But I get stopped by this guy, asking for my ID. Even though I'm a scientist. He looks new to the floor though, so he might not know me, and it's his job anyways, so I reach for my ID, but I left it in my locker. Ask his name, tell him I'll get it."

Wait a fucking minute.

"Calls himself Gordon, doesn't say much else about it but he needs to-"

"Benrey?"

"Huh?"

"In this, what did you call it, fanfiction? In this fanfiction you're making, did you just switch our roles?"

Benrey's hands stopped moving.

"Wuh?"

Gordon sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose.  _ Deep breaths, just like you practiced.  _ After a few months of living in his apartment with a surprise roommate, he was getting better at not yelling at Benrey, no matter how infuriating the guard could be. Usually the problem with Benrey was phrasing. Gordon just had to say what he wanted in another way.

"In your fic, you're a scientist, and I'm a guard. Right?"

Benrey's hands start up again, nearly taking out the glasses of the man leaning over them. "It's not you, it's a security guard named Gordon, and he says he has to follow me to make sure I'm not just faking my way into the lab. Top secret stuff in there."

That was close enough to a yes for Gordon. "Does the guard have a last name?"

"You find out later, bro. Don't worry about it. So in, like, canon he's the scientist but this time I get to be the scientist."

"Mhm," he nodded along. "What's your degree in?"

He felt Benrey stiffen up, expecting the confused mumbling as they dodge the question.

"Theoretical physics."

His eyebrows raised as he looked down at Benrey.

"Shut the  _ fuck _ up."

"I didn't say anything!"

"You were about to. Your eyes widen when you're about to say something fucking stupid."

He could sit and think about how Benrey knew that, how easily they could read his face, but Benrey was explaining their idea again.

“So, see, you uh, follow me, and we meet with this guy called Doctor Coomer, and you- I mean, Gordon explains to him why he’s following me, and Coomer says Gordon did his job and it’s all good. Then he turns around and tells me off for forgetting my ID, but Gordon asks him for his ID too. He, uh, doesn’t have it, because he’s about to enter the control booth and you can’t bring personal stuff in there, you gotta leave it outside the door, so that makes Gordon follow him too. Cause, uh, that’s pretty sus, bro.”

It was getting difficult to follow Benrey’s rambling, seeing as how the guard didn’t need to breathe. The words tumbled out so quickly, it felt as if his head was spinning. Benrey’s hands waved, smacking Gordon in the chest, and Gordon grabbed it. They paused, mouth half open, eyes darting up to glance at his face.

“You’re talking too fast for me, man.”

Before their mouth twisted into a leering grin, there was hesitation, where their eyes flicked to the side and their brows furrowed. “Oh, crybaby Freeman needs me to slow down? Can’t keep up?”

He brushed off the insults. Benrey was never very good at being openly nice, especially not when they thought… oh.

“I’m not criticizing you. I’m just asking you to slow down some for me.”

Benrey turned their face away, glaring at the coffee table in front of the couch. They glanced back at Gordon, still holding their hand, before focusing back on the rings on the wooden table. So not glaring, just trying not to look directly at Gordon.

Gordon wished he’d had time to look at Benrey when they first met. All the little quirks he took for irritating were just misunderstanding, weren’t they? The  _ um _ s and  _ huh _ ?s as Benrey tried to buy time to pick apart what he said, never looking him in the eye until they were forced to, and then not blinking or moving away. The jabs and insults to make Gordon back off when he got too close. He had a feeling that they could have been friends if Gordon hadn’t been so pressed to get to the testing chamber.

And if Benrey had just shut up about the passports.

Whatever. It was over anyways. He had all the time in the world to study the anomaly fidgeting in his lap.

“So I’m going to guess that you next meet a scientist named Tommy?”

He felt the body relax as the subject changed back to Benrey’s fantasy world. The hand he captured started twitching, tapping their fingers together as Benrey took a bracing breath they didn’t need.

“Uh, not quite, see, this time it’s different. I already know Tommy, he’s chilling in the control room, and he’s gonna give me the instructions with the stuff. Pushing a cart into a big laser and all that. Gordon’s up there too, the guard, cause he thought it was pretty sus, but then he was just curious and wanted to know what we’re doing. But uh, shit goes south real quick. Things smoking and lights bursting, and Gordon tries to get me out, but uh, I don’t listen, because the test isn’t over, and I tell him to fuck off and let me finish. That’s when a big explosion happens, ears ringing and dizzy and can’t really see. Finally get my senses, and I hear a lot of screaming, and guns firing. Not good, you know?”

Gordon nodded, readjusting his hold on Benrey’s hand to idly massage the calloused palm. Benrey faltered, finally looking up at Gordon again.

“What are you doing, bro?”

“You’re not the only one allowed to fidget.” He toyed with their fingers, comparing them to his own. Benrey needed to file the claws that their nails were becoming.

“That’s pretty cringe, dude,” Benrey smirked.

“Then get off my legs,” Gordon shot back.

Benrey delved into muttering, violet Sweet Voice bubbling out of their mouth. Gordon waved it away, and waited for Benrey to inevitably continue.

“I- uh, I get the team together, Gordon, Bubby, Coomer, and Tommy and me, we gotta get the fuck out of there. Lots of hallways collapsed so we have to find other ways through, and you find a couple vending machines. Coomer just fucking breaks them open, even though that’s against the rules, but it doesn’t matter so much anymore, but Gordon gets all huffy anyways, cause rules aren’t rules if you can break them whenever you want. We don’t have anything to carry shit though, so we gotta eat and go. And we meet guards, but there’s something wrong with some of them, and they’re being controlled by aliens so we gotta kill them.”

Gordon paused, giving Benrey his best ‘I’m really fucking confused here’ look. “You guys killed the guards because… they were being controlled by aliens?”

“Yeah. Just told you that. Keep up, noob.”

“But how did you know?”

“Huh?”

“Benrey, how do you know the guards are being controlled by aliens?”

“Just said, something wrong with them.”

Gordon threw his hands up, trying so very hard not to yell. “What was wrong with them that told you that they were being controlled!”

Benrey stared up at the ceiling, reaching blindly to grab Gordon’s hand back. “Something… wrong. Don’t act the same. Chill out dude, it’s just a story. Stop poking holes in my plot.”

Gordon fought the urge to push Benrey off the couch.

It was a close call.

“Okay, what happens next?”

“Lots of shit, fighting aliens, uh, we gotta sleep so we all find a room and barricade it, and Coomer and Bubby tell us about where we gotta go to get t’fuck out. I’m all like, yeah cool, we should take turns keeping watch in case something tries to sneak up, and you- uh, fuck, I mean Gordon, he offers to stay up the whole time. We’re all like, hey, you need sleep too, and Gordon’s like it’s fine, I’m not human. It’s called foreshadowing, that part. It’s important.”

“Yeah, I got it. What’s next?”

“So like, I can’t sleep though, full of that sweet adrenaline shit. So we talk about stuff, like what we’re gonna do when we leave. You say you’re gonna bleach your brain or something cringe like that. I’m all, hahah, gonna get wasted and play Playstation and forget it ever happened, you know? Then you like, offer to play like, uh, Street Fighter or something when we get out, and it can’t hurt, right? Two bros just chilling, cracking open cold ones and playing video games.”

“Good game, at least.”

“No.”

Gordon snorted. “No?”

Benrey shrugged, lacing their fingers together with Gordon’s, watching him roll his eyes as if they didn’t see it every day.

“Doesn’t matter anyway. We both know we don’t really expect to get out. Just a thing to think about.”

“Wow, that’s real optimistic,” Gordon commented, letting his other hand drop to Benrey’s forehead and start carding through the snarled hair.

“It’s foreshadowing, dipshit. Of course we get out, but it’s supposed to be hard, and we think we can’t. Anyway, that’s important too.”

“Everything’s important then, huh?” He did his best not to pull the knot, fiddling with the frayed ends.

“No, just some stuff.” Benrey winced as Gordon smoothed out their hair, blue dripping from the involuntary Sweet Voice. “Hey, calm down, damn, that hurts, man.”

“You should’ve brushed your hair.” Gordon didn’t relent. No sympathy for Benrey and their poor choices.

“How would you like it if I just. Pulled your hair while you were just chilling with your bro?”

“You have. Keep going, I want to know what you do about losing your hand.”

“I don’t lose my hand.”

Gordon quirked a brow. “Oh, so this Gordon gets attacked still, is that it?”

Benrey shook their head, dislodging Gordon’s hand. “No, no, see, you called the military to come help us. Didn’t know they were supposed to kill everyone in Black Mesa. You just wanted to get out and get home and play Playstation and forget all ‘bout the shit you went through and the guy you like.”

“What? What guy does this Gordon like?”

Benrey shot him a look, scowling. “Dumbass. The scientist he’s following. He really likes him, can’t you tell? Helps him get to sleep, invites him over, just doing his job and then this guy has to come up, all hot with his stupid ponytail and glasses, fucking tall-”

“Benrey, you don’t wear glasses.”

Their mouth snapped shut and they sat up, dropping Gordon’s hand as if he burned them. Their legs swung over the edge of the couch, about to vanish into their room until the end of time, but something stopped them.

Gordon held their wrist carefully, as if it would break if he pulled too hard. He should’ve known better, Benrey wasn’t weak. They were about to yank them self loose when Gordon gently tugged.

“Come on, finish the story. I’ll shut up.”

“Legit?”

“Yeah, legit. What’s next?”

Benrey fell back, letting their head drop onto Gordon’s shoulder and limbs land where they may. Gordon winces as Benrey manages to hit his funny bone, but he stays true to his word and doesn’t say anything.

“The guard, Gordon, he tries to help, but I don’t get it, and I think he planned for them to attack. S’not what really happened, and he feels awful ‘bout it, but I won’t listen. Coomer, though, he listens. Tommy tries to understand but doesn’t really get why Gordon thought it would help, can’t trust anyone if you work for Black Mesa. But for some reason, I still trust him, and we make our way through the whole stupid facility, and we meet this guy named Darnold who figured out the weakest bits of the aliens and helps us out of there, and there’s a high ranking military guy we take prisoner to get past all the bad guys. And, you know, nothing super awful happens between anyone. They go to an alien planet, fight a big alien, and get back to Earth and they go to Chuck E. Cheese to celebrate killing all the aliens and stopping the invasion, and then they go home and. That’s all I got.”

He shuffled Benrey’s limbs off, pulling a leg up so he could turn and see his, well, friend was the closest word for what they had.

“What about Gordon and Benrey?”

“What about them?”

“Well, if Gordon likes Benrey, how does Benrey feel about it? Does Gordon ever say anything?”

“Dunno. Can’t tell if Benrey likes him back or not. Doesn’t wanna ruin what he has, and all that. Dude, romance is cringey, can’t drop that shit in, gotta keep it PG for the kids.”

Gordon let his hand cup Benrey’s chin, turning the guard to face himself. Benrey wouldn’t look at him, eyes glued to the ceiling, the wall, the floor, the couch, anything but Gordon.

“How scary can it be to say something if they stopped an alien invasion together?”

His heart skipped a beat at the furious glare that Benrey suddenly leveled at him.

“Dunno, why doesn’t Benrey ever say anything? Why does he leave them guessing and- and confused as shit, man?”  Red and pink Sweet Voice dribble out between their words.  “Won’t just nut up and tell them whether he likes them or not, ‘stead of dancing around it like some kinda fucking wimp? Holding hands and shit but getting weird whenever they say anything, and shutting them down but still doing that shit where they’re close and it’s all domestic and shit.”

Gordon didn’t say anything to that.

He had nothing to say.

Until Benrey started to pull away again.

“I think Benrey likes Gordon.”

“No shit, shit for brains.”

“No- I mean- Oh fuck this, it’s too confusing.”

With that, the doctor surged forward to grab the guard’s face, narrowly avoiding crushing their noses together as he kissed the other.

For a moment, Benrey melted into it.

Before pushing Gordon off.

“Dude, what the fuck?”

“I like you, idiot- shit, no, I don’t mean that. You’re not an idiot, you’re just really frustrating and-”

“Shut up.”

Gordon knew exactly what answer Benrey was waiting for.

“Make me.”  


**Author's Note:**

> Thanks to the HLVRAI/HALF LIFE. GOD BLESS Discord, for making me actually want to post something.


End file.
